encouragement.

Around Valentine's Day my relationship with God was tested. A guy from my journalism class became the center of my focus and the first time we spent time alone together, it lasted for eight hours. The more I spent time with him, the further I pushed myself away from what God was trying to do in my life. Although he is considerate and knows how to make me laugh, there were definitely more cons than pros. I like that he's a hard worker and  a guy's guy, but I disliked his drug use, constant, unnecessary swearing, drinking and his stance on Jesus. Now the drinking and the drugs weren't a problem because I felt those could be changed. However his strong opinions against God were something I could not shake. Even after weeks of spending time with him, the Holy Spirit quietly and gradually revealed to me that this potential union would be a disaster. But I didn't listen to it.

I won't blame my failed test completely on him, but he did play a role. To make a long story short, I've been humbled through this ordeal and I'm working hard to keep a strong mind to stay away from these types of situations. 

I thought I could handle his atheism (although he never actually came out and told me he was an atheist) but it was surprisingly the one thing I had the most trouble trying to get over. I didn't even know that being with someone in love with God was that big of a deal for me. Needless to say, more time spent with him meant less time spent with God and His word. It's been a little while since we've gone out together. I've finally come to and realized for myself that trying to make this work wouldn't be worth it. I've apologized to God and I'm working on getting back in to our relationship. It most certainly has not been easy. It almost seems harder than before and sometimes discouragement takes over.

Well, one day at work I spent a while helping a woman with a thick Hispanic accent. She was so nice and really cute and just gave me enough energy to push on through my shift. As I'm checking her out at the register, we get on the topic of books and I tell her that reading has always been a familiar pastime of mine. She then suggests the Christian book store not too far from where I work and I instantly know what she's talking about. 

"LifeWay?," I said.

I then start telling her that I enjoy reading books by Joyce Meyer and Rick Warren. And then she smiles and through her thick accent, says to me the most encouraging, reassuring thing anyone has ever said to me:

"I know. I can tell you belong to Him."

I've never heard anything like that said before so imagine how I felt when, for the first time hearing it, it was being said to me! I guess I've always thought of myself as someone who's tolerable and pleasant to be around but it never occurred to me that my attitude or mannerisms could be an obvious result of what God has already done for me. I was at a loss for words and the only thing I could say back to her was thank you. I'll never forget Ms. Dora or what she said to me that day. Over the next few shifts, I made contact with other believers who also served as heaps of encouragement. I can't explain the warmth and sense of security I felt just being in the presence of believers who were willing to talk about Jesus so openly. All I knew was that I didn't want it to end.

I believe it was during those times that Jesus knew I needed to be reminded of his kindness. The unexpected words of encouragement from Ms. Dora and Ms. Arline were very much appreciated and I think it was Jesus's way of telling me that He still loved me and that I was still a part of His family. Whether or not those women realize it, they blessed me that day in more ways than they'll probably ever know. Then I realized that that's what a Christian is. That's what it means to be a believer. To bless others. They came at the right time, too. I was in a murky place where I was so confused about everything. God told me all along that I should follow Him. And I knew He was right because I honestly don't know what I want for myself. But it was those ladies that reinforced to me the benefit of letting God take control in my life.

Thank God for people like those women.

Song Of the Post: Evan Wickham - For So Long

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Lone Donkey

During the week I take the same route to school. This journey includes me driving through farms and ranches on back country roads; seeing the sunrise each morning on my way to school while driving through the scenery is so relaxing.

One ranch that I drive by, I always take a peek at the horses eating their breakfast. But it isn't the horses that always catch my attention. Instead, underneath and between the legs of the stallions towering over their feeding bowls is a small donkey. Passing by that donkey each morning, I developed a small connection with him. He never really ate with the other horses and was almost always alone. He spent a lot of his time looking at the ground and seemed as if someone killed his best friend. I've always wondered why the other animals didn't want to be around him, but then I thought that I may be reading in to the situation a little too closely.

Then I began to think about when Jesus came in to Jerusalem on a donkey. I started thinking about how different the donkey is in comparison with Jesus. I couldn't believe that the people of Jerusalem allowed someone as influential and honorable as Jesus to ride in a city on an animal that's always alone and sad. I mean, Eeyore from Winnie The Pooh is the most pessimistic cartoon character I can think of. Surely someone like him is no match for the Son of God. Then I realized that Jesus was never in to outward appearances and what other people thought. Instead he was more interested in the matters of the heart. The fact that the people of Jerusalem obeyed Him, arranged the entrance and laid palm trees on the ground for Jesus to walk on probably meant much more to Jesus than arriving on a white stallion that would've only been used for show.

Now whenever I drive by that ranch, I think about Jesus's humility and his ability to overlook being flashy for the sake of what God wanted. It's funny how I got all of that out of a 25 minute commute to my university, but I feel that this was just one of those instances where God speaks to people through various means.

Song of the Post: Sanctus Real - Whatever You're Doing

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