Monday, July 15, 2013

The Aftermath


The outcome of the Zimmerman/Martin trial is one that I’ll never forget. I can’t remember a time when a high-profile trial literally left me on the verge of tears. I’m speechless, stunned, angry and hurt. I honestly don’t know how to feel or what to think. Being in public for me is different now. The thought of my blackness in this “post-racial society” is more magnified than ever. Walking around in Target, I felt out of place as I slowly faced the reality of what that verdict means to me, blacks and whites. I never wanted to be the type of black person who had it out for the white man or was always angry about something racial. I tried my damnest to live with America’s history and the racial discrimination I still receive to this day, in hopes of building a more harmonious community. I want to believe that law enforcement and the courts care about me the way they do their own; I want to believe that race has been over since the end of slavery but I know that isn’t true.
At this moment, I’ve never received a more negative message in my life: that the values of my brothers are non-existent. It hurts to see those out there (especially the shameful Zimmerman family) strongly defend someone who admitted to murder while at the same time, condemning the victim. Despite Martin being a minor, unarmed and without a criminal record, this “post-racial society” went to work at smearing the name of Trayvon and his family. A lot of people think this case has nothing to do with race and that Zimmerman is justified in his self-defense claim So, let’s play devil’s advocate. Let’s say Zimmerman didn’t shoot Trayvon because he was black, but because he was actually up to no good. What exactly does that change? Does it make Zimmerman right? What justifies Zimmerman killing an unarmed minor? I assure you, taking race out of this equation will only make this problem harder to solve. So, instead of killing an unarmed black boy, Zimmerman kills an unarmed boy. Can people see what’s wrong with the picture now? Is it ok to kill minors because they’re up to no good?
‘Oh, well he was wearing a hoodie,’ they say. Or, ‘He was a thug who skipped school and had THC in his system,’ they’d argue.
Alright, so let’s say that’s true. Maybe he was a drug addict who disregarded authority. Does that justify killing someone? Apparently if you’re black. They crucified this kid and lied on his name about who he was at his own murder trial. They tried to arm him with anything after they found him with nothing. They teased his friend, the last one to hear from him, and made a mockery of her on national television. They’re unable to fathom the idea that people are wired to fight off an attacker when provoked as if that isn’t the logical thing to do. What about Trayvon defending himself? Who cares to think that Martin was fighting to live and not necessarily to kill? And you mean to tell me this isn’t about race?
Message boards around the internet are riddled with arguments from black and white people, each side trying to justify why they agree or disagree with the verdict. The arguments usually go something like this:
White person: Why does everything have to be about race? We have a black president now so America is past that. I don’t understand why blacks are so angry; they should just get over it, especially since they weren’t slaves.”
Black person: So because Obama’s president, racism doesn’t exist? (Then they list instances of discrimination and other reasons why racism exists and why their anger is justified.)
I feel sorry for those who respond to those white people who have the audacity to tell African-Americans to get over slavery. You think we’re upset about that? Of course we aren’t. What we are mad about, are those sporting rose-colored glasses and are unable to address an issue that won’t ever go away until we actually talk about. Besides, slavery, much less racism, is not something to get over, but to live with. We aren’t talking about the death of a cat, we’re talking about an entire race of people being unexpectedly taken from their homes to an unknown land where they are degraded, beaten and killed for no other reason than being black. This is about the efforts since slavery’s abolition and the civil rights movement and how even those have fallen short nearly 50 years later. I think what makes us so angry is the blatant disregard and willful ignorance of the race issue and how it affects us psychologically and emotionally.
A friend of mine got into a discussion about the case with a white woman who basically wrote that blacks need to get over slavery because it doesn’t exist anymore. Besides saying some other off the wall stuff, she fought tooth and nail to get black people to understand where she was coming from. She thought her argument was solid and logical but it wasn’t; she got eaten alive. What’s funny about this is that woman came into the Martin/Zimmerman discussion because she felt she had a solid viewpoint of racism in America. She used the same arguments we’ve all heard before and wasn’t backing down from anyone. What makes this situation sad is that she didn’t even try to learn. Here she is, talking to the source about racism. You could ask us anything you wanted and we’d be happy to tell you. (Side note: White people always seem afraid to talk about race with black people because they think we might get upset. Actually, that couldn’t be farther than the truth. As a community, blacks talk about racism all the time and we surely would’ve appreciated and respected any non-black individual who genuinely wants to understand the other side.)From her arguments, it’s clear that that woman sees racism for what it is: black vs. white. However, it’s so much more than that. It’s a science that goes from one subcategory to another subcategory to another. Each topic has several levels that, even if the white lady did want to learn it all, she still would never really know and understand racism; I can’t fault her for that. I just find it funny that she believed she could outtalk a black person on the issue. As said before, her stubbornness is what really angers us.
Online commenters also love to use the argument:
“Well how come blacks aren’t this upset when one of their own kills a member of their community? Why do they try to make us feel guilty about it? They should be more worried about those murders in Chicago or Detroit.”
I think this comment, more than anything, makes my blood boil. The same people who make these statements are the same ones blaming Trayvon Martin for his own death. How dare they tell us that even we don’t care about our people…they have no idea! When lesser-known people are murdered, we are sad and we are outraged, it just isn’t shown on CNN, MSNBC and FOX. When we lose someone to gang violence, there are city council meetings and marches, but apparently the post-racial media doesn’t seem to give damn about that. We don’t condone that foolishness either, but when one of our own is killed and the murderer gets off, why shouldn’t we be mad? At least if a black person does it, they go to jail. Zimmerman didn’t even get probation or house arrest.  How dare they falsely sympathize about the 40 people killed in Chicago  but can’t give a damn about an unarmed teen. We don’t need your sympathy or any emotion from you!
It hurts my soul that Martin’s name was smeared. It kills me that even a black minor doesn’t have rights. I often think about the media and how they report countless missing children’s stories featuring white kids. How their cameras are shoved in the faces of grieving parents and law enforcement officers. I imagine the dozens of trucks, cameras and crew camped out in the town where it all happened. I think about the laws passed since the majority of these kids have been found dead and the action that’s been taken after those unfortunate events. I think about the Newtown shooting where a bunch of kindergarteners and teachers were gunned down by a psychotic white man and how the nation collectively mourned the loss of their young. And then I say to myself,
“Is Trayvon really not any different? He was a kid just like they were.”
This situation is painfully hypocritical and something I’ll always be at a loss for words on. I suppose the only things that give me comfort are that Trayvon didn’t have to see any of this and that Zimmerman is a wanted man by millions of angry civilians. His life will never be the same, and for killing someone, that’s as fair a punishment as he’ll get.
As I enter into my final semester of college, I patiently wait for my graduation date to arrive. Some of it has to do with the economy, but a lot of it stems from fear. What should be a milestone in my young life has now turned into something I'll just have to accept instead of fully celebrate. I feel this way because I know the real world has much harder things for me to deal with than just working a 9 to 5 and paying off student loans. I’m afraid for my black male cousins and friends. I’m afraid for my future children and what this post-racial society will do to their psyche and I’m scared that I won’t be sufficient enough to handle it. I’m worried that things may never get better.

No comments:

Post a Comment